Hello my name is…. That’s a great way to start a conversation. It’s not a question but it is usually responded to with an answer especially if it’s said with a smile and face to face.

Communication starts at such an early age – in fact the minute a baby comes into the world. Usually they cry so I’m told and noticed after the birth of my two sons. Surprisingly my mother told me I didn’t, I just opened my eyes and looked around as though I was taking it all in and those around me. I was ready to be with people, nothing scared me. But getting back to the crying, it’s a way of baby letting its mother know that its not really comfortable and needs some care.

Children tend to be very open and say things as they are. I find them refreshing as they let you know what’s going on in their heads, it seems, rarely giving what they are saying a second thought. Just blurting it out.

When does this change?

When do children start feeling conscious of what they’re saying, what others think of them, what is right and wrong? When do they start feeling that they possibly are a bore, talk too much, what they have to say is not important or embarrassing? What happens to that innocence and carefreeness?

As far back as I can remember, I was a shy girl. I found it difficult to express myself. I didn’t think that what I had to say was of importance. Expressing my feelings was actually not the done thing so I kept quiet about them. As a teenager I felt crippled with awkwardness and knowing how to talk to boys. I remember writing to a teen magazine’s agony aunt asking how I could improve my confidence, and then was appalled when they published my letter. I’d asked them not to put it in but to just write back to me. I was upset by the lack of trust I felt towards adults at that point and recoiled back into my shell even more tightly. Something must have changed. I got married and had children. Surely I must have communicated effectively to do that?!

Was I shy naturally or was it something that I grew up believing; my voice wasn’t important? I’m not going to go into a blaming rant. If my parents and teachers did effect me in that way, they were only trying to do their best, as were their parents and teachers before them. They knew no other way. Being aware of my thoughts and where they may have come from however has helped me to address how I handle the world and what I ask of it.

Everyone’s voice has a right to be heard.
Everyone has a right to be listened to.